How to: Get ripped off by a taxista en Buenos Aires, Argentina

It might have been better to take the bus...

So what if most every "taxsita" in the city of Buenos Aires is a real "hijo de puta".  You don't even have to try to get bamboozled by them - they will do all the work for you.

The taxi maffia of Buenos Airies - more locally of the Ezezia International Airport - is notorious in guide books, travel channels and even amongst Argetinians, but don't let that fool you.  They have it down to a science.  The typical scenario is as follows:

Step 1: Exit the airport - by this point there is no turning back.  You have missed the Radio Taxi kiosk.

Step 2: Walk towards the official looking booth situated very conveniently alongside the sliding double glass doors.

Step 3: Nod to the man that immediately spots you and flags you towards the stream of taxis.

Step 4: Allow the man who flagged you to take a hold of your largest and most awkward bag.  Watch carefully as he loads it into the back of the taxi.

Step 5: Enter the taxi.

Step 6: Realize that your driver is already situated within the taxi and that the man that has been "posing" as your driver is now the money changer organizing payment.  Give him 400 pesos and believe him when he hands it back saying you only gave him 200.  Don't bat an eye at his below average mathematics and be sure to let him know you have American dollars.

Step 7: Arrive at your destination and be sure to attempt to exit before your driver demands the "rest" of the total payment.  Noobishly ask if paying before entering a taxi is normal in Argentina and commiserate a little bit when the driver confirms that you were ripped off by the man at the airport.

Step 8: Become irritated when he continues to insist that you are miscounting.  Slowly become aware of the precarious situation you have unwittingly put yourself into as well as how ridiculous you must seem to this oil slick scheister.

Step 9: Exit the taxi, collecting your bags and thanking the driver for his services.

Step 10: Listen as the taxi pulls away to hear your driver radioing his superiors to have a hearty laugh at your very expensive expense.

What it will cost you: Approximately ARS400 + US100 = US191.00
What it should cost: ARS150 / US35.00

What you should do if looking for a taxi in Buenos Aires:
1.  Call for a "Radio Taxi" - the car should have a lit box with "Radio Taxio" on top as well as on the door.  The hotels use "Radio Taxi Premium" and are more than willing to call one for you.  Premiums have a black and white checkered box and "Premium" written on the side.
2.  If you hail a taxi on the street: be sure of the company name and look for the drivers credentials.
3.  Count the money clearly, in front of the driver and where you can see him fumbling for your change.
4.  Beware of fake bills - a real peso will have an iridescent silver perferation along one side of the bill.  Also, rub the jacket of the bill's patron with your thumb and forefinger.  A real peso should have a little bit of a texture to it - much like a proper US dollar bill.


Useful vocabulary from this post / El vocabulario útil de la bitácora:

• El hijo de puta - n. "son of a bitch" 
• La mafia - n.  mafia; very similar to the Italian mafia of New York and New Jersey
• El taxista - n. a taxi driver 

Useful phrases de "la boca argentina":

• Cuánto sale un viaje desde el Hotel Claridge a esta dirreción - How much does a trip from the Claridge Hotel to this address cost?